| pretty good weekend...
well actually, idk what to say about this weekend. parts were really good, parts were ok, parts were not so good, i guess. i'll start off with friday...school went ok, work was ok, kinda busy and hectic. after work i had a text from jon saying 'goodnight gorgeous' so i didnt call him or anything b/c i figured he went to sleep early because he had to work @ 6 the next morning. so me and heidi decided to hangout. we went to my house for awhile then wanted to go to walmart because there was nothing else to do, so heidi was driving and we decided to drive by jons house because she wanted to see it, so we drive by and theres tons of cars infront of his house, which really surprised me because idk how he'd sleep with a party going on downstairs. so then we drive by this girl, i thought i recognized her but i wasnt sure, and she started following us and was right on heidi's ass, scared the shit out of us because she was trying to pass us on a sidestreet. but whatever. we went to walmart for awhile, then left and i decided to call jon, but he didnt answer. then heidi dropped me off at my house, then i went over to chailane's moms house and hungout with chailane for awhile. idk i was really confused, i wasnt sure if jon was off partying or if he was really sleeping. idk. i just felt funny about the whole thing. saturday jon called me @ like 6 because he was worried why i called him late last night, i told him how me and heidi drove by his house the night before because heidi wanted to see jons house, and how we saw all the cars and i didnt understand how he could sleep with a party going on, but i figured he had to because he had to work at 6. and i told him about this girl following me and heidi and how it scared the shit out of us.
then later saturday i went back over to chailane's and we went shopping for awhile. it was nice because i hadnt hungout with jus chailane for awhile. and i missed her! then we went to nikki's house and got all prettied up and me, chailane, nikki and amanda went to Grisanti's all dressed up and had dinner, and told them it was nikki's bday so she got sang to, and free dessert and the works, lol it was hilarious. then we went and rented some movies (where the heart is, and billboard dad lol) and got some junk food. it was starting to snow really hard too so me chailane and amanda ended up staying at nikki's house and it ended up being a really fun night. i love those girls so much. today i left nikki's at 830, came home and me and chailane had white cheddar shells for breakfast, then her dad came and got her and i went to work @ 1030. got off at 130, came home and layed down for awhile, took a shower, talked to jon for awhile, then i was gonna go to church @ 6 but didnt end up doing that. me and steven went to culvers to get some dinner, then i missed a call from a # i didnt know, so i called it back and it was the girl who followed us friday night and some other girl, and wow, they made me feel horrible, like shit, and sick to my stomache. they said that jon was partying it up hardcore friday night, and hitting on girls, and idk, they just told me alot of things i didnt want to hear and made me feel like a complete dumbass. idk why. idk what to say i guess. i called jon and was pretty much freaking out about it, and told him about the girls calling me. i dont think he understood where i was coming from or why it was bothering me so much, so i tried my best to explain how i was feeling to him, but for some reason i felt like i couldnt express how exactly i was feeling, so i told him to put himself in my shoes and think "what if someone called him and said i was sitting on some guys lap and hitting on guys and stuff" and he said he'd kill the guy, or something like that. well..EXACTLY! thats how im feeling. why would those girls call me and say what they said?! why?! why would they tell me part of the truth, and lie about other parts? i just dont understand any of it. jon said girls were hitting on him, but he couldnt remember how they were, or what they were saying or doing but he said he remembered not hitting on them back. also he didnt remember girls sitting on his lap? idk, it just doesnt make sense to me how he remembers some parts, but not others. and why would he lie to me about waking up @ 11 and just getting a drink of orange juice??...he said he didnt want to have me get mad at him for drinking. he really woke up and drank some more i guess, and maybe partied more then went back to bed. but if hes lieing about that, what else is he lieing about what happened friday night?
idk i just feel stupid now, i told those girls "oh no, jon didnt drink friday night because he had to work early the next morning" i guess i assumed he didnt drink. idk for some reason i didnt think he did. and they seemed surprised that me and jon were still together, why were they surprised?? why did they have to call?? why do girls have to be such bitches and start drama?! and the girls that were hitting on jon, dont they fucking know he has a girlfriend? did he tell them? cant they find their own guys and stay away from mine?! idk it just makes me sick knowing that girls were hitting on jon, and maybe trying to sit on his lap or whatever, thinking they could because he was drunk and maybe wouldnt remember it. i hate those girls for calling and trying to start drama, why cant they just mind their own business and stay out of me and jons relationship? idk why but i just feel sick to my stomache over all this, and idk why. i let things get to me, and i dont uderstand why. why do i have to be so sensitive and let things like this bother me. im such a cry baby sometimes, but, i just have this huge lump in my throat that wont seem to go away, and i feel lowerer than low, and i dont know why. i feel like i shouldn't be THIS upset or stupid shit.
sometimes i just really want to get away. take a vacation for a couple weeks or so, go somewhere warm and sunny. get away from all the drama from school, work, and just everything. leave lincoln for awhile and not have to worry about ANYTHING for atleast a week. not worry about my brother in iraq, worry about getting homework in on time and my grades up, worry about paying off my car and getting enough money for insurance, worry about work and stuff and just everything else thats stupid that i worry about.
if i had the money, i'd seriously take jon and we'd go on vacation, just the 2 of us. and we'd leave lincoln and go somewhere warm, sunny, and by a beach, and do practically nothing for an entire week. just relax and stuff. because i KNOW he's been really stressed lately about work and moving and stuff.
thats what i'd do if i could have it my way. wow now that i've written for almost an hour...its time to FINALLY start my US history report thats due tomorrow. |
but just barely. 
oh well..lets try this again..
